SO YOU WANT AN ANNULMENT…?

By Kikay.in.Subic
Tags: philippine constitution,Philippine ConstitutionANNULMENT in the philippines,ANNULMENT in the philippinesphilippine constitution Philippine Constitution
This is a guest article, donated by a Filipina (“Kikay”) who recently married a British gentleman after a prolonged annulment. Because divorce is non-existent in the Philippines, questions about the annulment process are common. For those of you interested in the process, Kikay has some observations and suggestions. She is also a forum member who occasionally answers questions on the subject. – Bob

SO YOU WANT AN ANNULMENT? Of course you do! Thanks to him you’re physically, emotionally and mentally abused. You’re tired of working your butt off, earning a living to put food on the table while he goes squandering his paycheck on booze and cheap women. Enough is enough, right? So you pack your bags, your kid, even your cat and left. But still, if he had gone after you, you would have given him a second chance. After all, there is no divorce in the Philippines and you’re married to the pig! But did he go running after you? Hell, no! Instead he celebrated his newfound freedom. No more wifey to ask him where he’s been when he’s supposed to be looking for a job. Why would he care if you leave? There’s still his mom to care for him and as for sex he can get that anywhere.


Yep…that’s my fairy tale. No living happily ever after.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I made a grave mistake of marrying my ex-husband we’ll call under the pseudonym, Manoy. After the separation, I vowed never to trust another man again. If men can use women for pleasure, why can’t women, right? But I wasn’t ready to be a slut. What’s the next best thing? ON-LINE DATING. At least in the chatroom, these men don’t have any other choice but to talk. Plus, I can be anybody I want to be on the internet. Ahhhh…..the power of the internet is in my hands. Dating has never been so much fun!

I should be thankful Manoy didn’t try to get me back after I left him. If he had, I wouldn’t have met the man who will restore all my faith in the opposite sex. Eventually, I met my fiancé, on-line, in one of the penpal websites. We will call my “My Teddy” J He swept me away with his intelligent words, honesty and sincerity. Plus he wanted to meet me. He was willing to travel halfway around the world, where foreigners are being kidnapped by the Abu Sayyaf to meet me. Now…that, is something.

We fell in love and pretty soon we knew that we wanted to be together. One problem. Although I’ve been living as a single mother for two years when we met, I am still legally married to Manoy. No way My Teddy is going to live here in the Philippines. He can’t get a job here, he won’t survive the weather and most important of all, he has an 8-year-old son he will miss terribly. The only solution is for me and my son to join him in the UK. Here is where the annulment comes in. So many have offered advise on how to get me to the UK. To go to the UK as a tourist and then divorce Manoy there is the most popular. Apparently, it would be easier to go there as a tourist and then disappear than to actually file for an annulment. But My Teddy won’t have that. We both want everything to be legal and I definitely will not leave without my son. My Teddy is willing to pay whatever it cost to get me an annulment but first, he has to go back to the UK.

So off I went to see a lawyer and I have good-naturedly enumerated his advice for all you people still reading this :

1/ GROUNDS – PSYCHOLOGICALLY INCAPACITATED

This is the ONLY one that works. I won’t bother explaining why. If one of you is loony then it’s unfair for the other one to be in the marriage. But there’s a catch to it. It has to be proven that the lunacy had been there even before the marriage.

2/ IT HAS TO BE UNCONTESTED

The reason why annulments drag on is that one party will file a counter affidavit. Because the Philippine Family Code’s mission is to “preserve the Filipino family”, a counter affidavit is seen as an indication that the marriage can still be saved. This also means, I had to go see Manoy to convince him that an annulment is best for us, more for him, because he already has a girlfriend. At that time, he doesn’t know I have My Teddy. He’s got to gain more from it to make him agree. More than anything else, he’s going to get an annulment absolutely free. I agreed to cover all expense. Because I know that he will never admit that he is the cause of the break-up and that he will never agree to be the loony party, I had to be the respondent to the case and because I’m the respondent, I can guarantee that it will definitely be UNCONTESTED. Now, why would I file a counter-affidavit, right?

3/ PROOF THAT THERE WAS NO COLLUSION

The court will want to know that the annulment is not scripted. That is why it is important that the respondent never show his or her (in my case, my face) in court. They don’t want to make it too obvious that they were not really following proper court procedure. Later on I will tell you that this is all bs!

4/ MONEY TALKS….BIG TIME

One year after we took the first three items into consideration, and the case was still sitting at someone’s desk gathering dust. My lawyer, upon my instructions, “secretly” talked to the court clerk and asked him exactly how much it is going to take to get the annulment over and done with. Take note : the court clerk acts as the spokesperson for the judge and everybody else involved in that case. That way, if someone decides to squeal on them, the top guys don’t get into trouble. It was at this point that my lawyer was given a figure, 100 thousand pesos to get it final by December. It was October that time.

The 100 Thousand pesos will pay for the judge, solicitor general and initial investigator, everybody involved in the case. This will say that there was no collusion and that there are no objections to the annulment. So didn’t I tell you this was all bs?

5/ GAMBLE

Now, I’ve never gambled in my life. I was ready to back out. I was sure it was a scam. It will all be under the table. That means no receipts involved. It’s not my money I’m spending here, it’s My Teddy’s, his hard-earned money and he is not exactly rich, you know. But he said go for it. If it’s a scam then we lost a big amount of money and then we will have to think of another way to get you to the UK but if they turn out to be true to their word, then we won’t have any more problems. That’s when I know he really loves me.

The court finally pulled through and delivered their end of the bargain. My annulment case was over just one month after the pay-off. I should have thought about offering the grease money much much earlier! All in all, we spent P175 thousand for the annulment. Now, because of my annulment, my lawyer and the court are the best of buddies. My lawyer can give anybody an annulment in just one month for Two hundred fifty thousand pesos (P250,000.00). That’s right! It’s now as easy as buying aspirin at the drugstore.

So where am I now?

I am now in the process of waiting for my son’s and my UK visa. Two years ago when my fiancé and I started to live together, he took the time to register himself at the British Embassy and myself as the person responsible for him while he’s here. He took the time to know the people who might help things easier for me for when the time comes for me to file my application. He went back to the UK and did everything required to show that he has the means to take care of both my son and I and that means a proper home, a well-paying stable job and a fat bank account. He sent me letters every month, which I kept safe and he did the same for all his phone bills. He calls me every week. In the two years he’s been in the UK, he’s come to visit me four times, three weeks each time, not counting the 4-months he stayed here with me hoping we could wait out the annulment together. Our two-year relationship is well document and there is no reason to doubt that we are for real.

I’m now hoping we don’t encounter any more problems. We have gone through a lot. We’re in love and just want to be together. I hope that if I write another article it will be about my life as wife of my nice Brit guy in the UK. So….wish me luck and I’ll keep you posted.